A Handy Reference To The Hip 'Lingo' Of To-Day

skate-surfing
the use of a skateboard on a fluid wave surface, 
or, alternately, the use of a surfboard on a solid surface

webjumper

a person who seeks information on the World Wide Web
(a/k/a 'WWW' or 'www' or 'the Web') via a personal
computer or similar electro-mechanical device

autohandler
the operator of any gasohol-powered vehicle such as
an airport shuttle van or amphibious limousine

Johnny Make-Do
a derisive name for an individual who refrains from
replacing broken or defective materials

harpsichord harpie
an individual, generally female, who becomes faint or
swoons in the presence of a performing harpsichordist

czellulara
an individual, generally female, fixated on the most
recently released mobile wireless car telephone

wax monkey
a primate of the lower order sculpted in paraffin

Your Local Weather Forecast -- On The 9s!

This Evening
A large pressure system moves eastward changing things up a bit.  
Expect a chance of precipitation and the possibility of cloudiness.

Overnight
The temperature will drop significantly about an hour after sunset.  
Otherwise, about the same.

Tomorrow
In the late morning, expect a significant warming trend due to
an increase in sunniness.  Chance of precipitation.

Tomorrow Evening
Increasing darkness and a moving front spell more weather ahead.
 

NFL Playoff Picks, Part Three

Indianapolis (+7) over Chicago [49]
Peyton Manning takes a day off from filming commercials to mow 
down the pistolpackin' Bears.  Despite the score, the game is never 
close, except at the opening kickoff when it is 0-0. 

Today's Ambiguities (Non-Clarified)

amorphous dessert

tangential cornucopia

nebulous fire truck

ambivalent wrench

NFL Playoff Picks, Part Two

Chicago (+7) over New Orleans [49]
The ghost of Mike Ditka looms large over this battle of deep-fry lovin' cities.  In the end, the ghost of Dave Wannstedt outduels the ghost of Jim Mora for undead supremacy.  Spooky, man.  Don't forget your garlic necklace and silver bullet.

New England (+3) over Indianapolis [52]
Will the addition of David Beckham help Indy overcome their choketastic playoff run?  No, because New England has a not-so-secret weapon by the name of PELE.  The Pats win in overtime on a record 105-yard field goal kick by the new guy.

More Groundbreaking Apple Products Announced At MacWorld

The iToaster -- the world's first internet-ready, touch-screen toasting device 

MacGrenade -- a powerful rocket-launched detonation device with Apple's distinctive glossy-white finish

AppleCar - a two-passenger electric vehicle operated with a single button

iMe -- a new consumer electronics concept in which only carefully screened applicants will be allowed the opportunity to purchase unseen Apple products

NFL Playoff Picks

Indianapolis (-10) over Baltimore [43]
Take the points, my friend.  Even your 9 year-old niece knows Peyton Manning.  Of course, I think both teams are nicknamed 'Colts'.

New Orleans (+2) over Philadelphia [39]
The feel-good story continues as America likes nothing more than to see a bunch of battery-throwing, cheesesteak-eating jerks go down.  And, The Saints will use their divine powers.

Chicago (+6) over Seattle [23]
A seahawk?  Beating a bear?  Don't spit out your frappilatte.

San Diego (+980) over vistor [1002]
I can't recall who their opponent is, but it's irrelevant as The Chargers will score a record 900 points -- 800 in the first half.